Backyard Aquaponics
A place to discuss aquaponics

Hey Nocky ,I got your wallet! Some woman in Bunnings Rockingham was trying to pass herself off as NOCKY. I said ," hang on she isnt Nocky. There is only one Nocky and she isnt him"

Don received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives, were to say the least, rude. Don tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, Don put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream - then suddenly, there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute. Don was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Don's extended arm and said, 'I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness." Don was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask, what did the chicken do?"

So a classical Billion (the yanky trillion) is a bloody big wharehouse!

I'm not sure what you mean by this. A billion has always been a thousand million (10^9), whilst a trillion is a thousand billion (10^12). Not sure what a classical billion is?

Wiki the Billion vs Trillion story. It's quite convoluted if I remember rightly, and more tied up with the French than the Yanks. After all, we can see America's approach to updating or modernising counting and measuring systems!

What do you mean!?! If anything we have gone too far in bending to godless modern forces and should go back to cubits, spans, etc.

And OBO lolled lots awesome hydro

The lost case of common sense.

The French, (adopted by the Brittish) Billion is still used by many non english speaking countries, especially in northern Europe. 1 Billion used to (before American settlement) mean 1 million million or 1 US Trillion. A Trillion was a million billion.

I've also heard said that a Chinese Billion is 100 Million.

Due to these inconsistancies, there are many documents written in the last 100 years that make use of thousand million and million million to avoid confusion.

Rick... I've seen that sign before, and it's very funny. For a while. Until you start to think of what would drive a man to make such a redundant sign. Then the thought of the beauracracy and lawsuits that he must have gone through just makes you sad.

If you look real close, it looks photoshopped to me. Lots of graining just around the lettering.

I expect it is a sticker that gets applied to sharp-edged signs to ward off lawsuits, blown up into a stand-alone sign. Funny sign, but not real. Still, it is kind of sad that folks expect things to be so safe that they would sue over sharp metal edges.

I wonder if sign makers take less care in rounding edges than they used to of if society is simply more litigious or if the makers are simply more worried about lawsuits.

Anyway, enough OT, back to what is not really a joke, but is worth passing along:

The End of the Raven
-- by Edgar Allen Poe's Cat
On a night quite unenchanting, when the rain was downward slanting,
I awakened to the ranting of the man I catch mice for.
Tipsy and a bit unshaven, in a tone I found quite craven,
Poe was talking to a Raven perched above the chamber door.
"Raven's very tasty," thought I, as I tiptoed o'er the floor,
"There is nothing I like more"

Soft upon the rug I treaded, calm and careful as I headed
Towards his roost atop that dreaded bust of Pallas I deplore.
While the bard and birdie chattered, I made sure that nothing clattered,
Creaked, or snapped, or fell, or shattered, as I crossed the corridor;
For his house is crammed with trinkets, curios and weird decor -
Bric-a-brac and junk galore.

Still the Raven never fluttered, standing stock-still as he uttered,
In a voice that shrieked and sputtered, his two cents' worth -
"Nevermore."

While this dirge the birdbrain kept up, oh, so silently I crept up,
Then I crouched and quickly lept up, pouncing on the feathered bore.
Soon he was a heap of plumage, and a little blood and gore -
Only this and not much more.

"Oooo!" my pickled poet cried out, "Pussycat, it's time I dried out!
Never sat I in my hideout talking to a bird before;
How I've wallowed in self-pity, while my gallant, valiant kitty
Put and end to that damned ditty" - then I heard him start to snore.
Back atop the door I clambered, eyed that statue I abhor,
Jumped - and smashed it on the floor.

I'm confused...... Just drop the whole billion million thing and use numbers......

OK, this isn't so much a joke but a true story of me innocently putting my foot in it last week..

I was going to check the PO box for mail and it was about the 5th of the month. Now anyone with a business and a PO Box knows that at the start of the month the box is usually jam packed with all the invoices and statements for the month.

Our bank of PO boxes are inside a little narrow hallway where you often have to push past others checking their boxes. Anyway, as I wandered down the hallway to our PO Box there was a lady just opening her box not far from mine. Obviously another business PO Box as hers was jam packed with mail and she was carefully trying to lever the mail out of the PO Box a bit at a time. As an understanding gesture while squeezing past her in the hallway I commented aloud with a knowing chuckle "Huh, that time of the month hey?"

Silence in response..............

That's a bit rude I thought.....

Then I thought about what I'd said...

No sense of humour,EB. I would have responded, Yes, my box certainly seems to be full,doesnt it!!! Then that would have made you cringe, wouldnt it. HeeHee