Backyard Aquaponics
A place to discuss aquaponics

I hope you are reading (you know who you are!), please take special note of 1, 4, 18, 26, 30, and 31.


You know you're a nurse when..

1) the front of your scrubs reads "Nurses... here to
save your ass, not kiss it!"

2) you occasionally park in the space with the
"physicians only" sign... and knock it over.

3) you believe some patients are alive only because it's
illegal to kill them.

4) you recognize that you can't cure stupid.

5) you own at least three pens with the names of
prescription medications on them.

6) you believe there's a special place in hell for the
inventor of the call light.

7) you believe that saying "it can't get any worse"
causes it to get worse just to show you it can.

you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.

9) you believe that any job where you can drive to work
in your pajamas is a cool one.

10) you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.

11) eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is
perfectly natural.

12) you've been exposed to so many x-rays that you
consider it a form of birth control.

13) you've ever heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow
ring, and twelve earrings say "I'm afraid of shots."

14) you've ever placed a bet
on someone's blood alcohol level.

15) you've told a confused patient that your name is that
of a coworker and to call if they need help.

16) your bladder can expand to the size of a winnebago's
water tank.

17) you have seen more BLANK than any prostitute could
dream of.

18) you believe that not all patients are annoying...
some are unconscious.

19) your family and friends refuse to watch medical
sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time
correcting everyone and pointing out upside down
x-rays.

20) you don't get excited about blood, unless it's your
own.

21) you've sworn to have "do not resuscitate" tattooed on
your chest. Soon.

22) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal
is perfectly normal to you.

23) your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down
to eat.

24) your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift
change.

25) you believe in the aerial spraying of prozac.

26) you believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a
recognized diagnosis.

27) you believe that the government should require
permits to reproduce.

28) you believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone
who utters the phrase "Wow, it's really quiet, isn't it?

29) you have ever wanted to write a book entitled
"Suicide: getting it right the first time."

30) you have ever had a patient look you straight in the
eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there."

31) you've had to leave a patient's room before
you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

Yep, was a splendid morning and although I was not in for a psyche appointment, KE's dedication as a nurse saw my short stay fly by (AKA he stood around and chatted fish and AP with us ) A few days of forced feet up after stepping off the quad into a hole, should be right as rain in no time.

p.s although nurses may see a lot of penises, KE did not see mine . It did take a bit of convincing the lovelty blonde swedish trainee nurse though, that although my foot and ankle was hurt, my groin also needed some attention. Thanks to KE for setting her straight

26
27

I might not be a nurse, but have seen more than my share of the inside of a hospital.

Hubby and I were doing the orientation for organ transplant. He needed a pancreas, everyone else in the room needed a kidney and had their donors with them. One of the kidney patients was asking why he didn't get to have 2 kidneys instead of only one from his donor. Never found out what happened in his case, but husband and I always wagered that his transplanted kidney didn't last 6 months because he was just unable to follow the med regimen. What a waste.

Sorry mate I meant to remove number 17 so that people didn't get the wrong idea!

See, you should have listned when the missus and I said those things were dangerous...

H.

see Quads are just as dangerous as wardrobes!

not as dangeruous as if I was wearing the stilletos that Himzo's wife had on Now you know why I said she could ride the quad down and I would walk

You haven't seen her drive yet