Backyard Aquaponics
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A lady Canadian libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

She received back the following reply:


National Defence Headquarters
M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg, 15 NT
101 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa , ON K1A 0K2
Canada


Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa.
You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself; we are creating a new department here at the Department of National De fence, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care.
Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint.
It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommend in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome these character flaws.
Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences.
We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers.
We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group.
He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property.
This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire.
I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.
Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man.

You take good care of Ahmed and remember we'll be watching.
Good luck and God bless you.

Cordially,
Gordon O'Connor
Minister of National Defense

If that is fair dinkum, I bet he had fun writing it

Not unless it was written before 2007... coz Peter Mackay has held that position since that date..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_MacKay

It makes a good yarn though...

what if we bring the kiwis over here to live - and make new zealand the "new australia" - dump all activists - political prisoners - dissidents - boat people and carlton supporters over there and let them get on with it!!

after 200 yrs it might be worth living there!!!

carna pies!!!!

Bill, Australia has invited NZ to become part a state of Australia since Federation... indeed the Federation documents still allow for it to this day.... and it crops up from time to time..

NZ has politely declined the invitation each time it's been offered...

And NZ has a long proud political history of "dissention" and "activism"... and takes a large number of boat people into the community every year... without locking them behind razor wire...

Carlton supportes are welcomed with open arms... as are Collingwood supporters... both are laughed at equally...

That post is pure gold, good one ColinW

Why I mean if NZ was so good why are all the Kiwis living over here? Near as I can tell the only people who choose to stay in NZ are immigrants wanting to leap-frog into Australia but they have not been NZ citizens for the two years they need to qualify for automatic Australian residency

I recon that if we forfeited the Wallabies for the All Blacks as our combined national team (probably not a bad idea either) the Kiwis would sign on the dotted line quicker then you could say " I'm not shearing these sheep with anyone!"

The usual and unwavering unanomous response by NZ to such suggestions is howls of laughter...

And has been ever since we smaked your arses when you sent troops over... (Australias first overseas deployment...)