Backyard Aquaponics
A place to discuss aquaponics

Two elderly friends, Bill and Sam, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it figured maybe he had a cold or some such. But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so Sam really got worried.

However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park. Sam didn't know where Bill lived so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month had past and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill but one day Sam approached the park and lo and behold there sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so!

Then he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?"

Bill replied, "I have been in jail."

"Jail?," cried Sam!!

"What in the world for?"

"Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where we sometimes get coffee?"

"Yeah" said Sam, " I remember her. What about her?"

"Well one day she charged me with rape and I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled "guilty" and the judge gave me 30 days for perjury."

I don't get it... Am I too young or something.....? hehe.

nice one tim

two guys walk into a bar and see a chronologically enhanced octagenerian fellow crying into his beer. They walk over and ask him whats up. Well im married to a 23 year old model with a perfect figure she is a sensational cook, mows the lawns, cleans the house and she invites all her young friends over to gamble around the pool in their bikinis oh and she is a tiger in the bedroom with an insaitable appitite for my body. So the young guys are perplexed and say to the old timer
whats the problem
to which he replies
I cant remember where i live.

That is gold...

[align=center]outback aquaponics farm.[/align]

A guy is the sole employee on an outback aquaponics facility. Every process is automated his job is to monitor an aray of close cicuit video screens and digital readouts to ensure the fish and plants are ok, valves are working correctly and water and oxygen levels remain constant. He has not seen a sole for 9 months and is desperate for company. One afternoon whilst enjoying a beer on the veranda he makes out a dust cloud on the horizon aproaching. As it draws closer he makes out a biker on a harley. The biker skids to a halt in front of the veranda and dismounts. He is six foot 5 150kg with tatoos peircings. The biker says in a loud deep voice.
Party next weekend
my place
heaps of booze, drugs, dancing, loud rock music, pig on a spit. wild sex more wild sex, and anything and everything else.
you wanna come
sure i do the bloke says but what should i wear
to which the biker replies
It doesnt mater theres only going to be you and me there.

A guy is on a airplane flight seated next to a beautiful young woman. All of a sudden the port engine explodes and smoke billows from the wing as the plane wines and goes into a dive. The women panics looks at the guy rips off her top and says
Make me feel like a woman
So the guy rips off his shirt hands it to her and says
quick iron this

A docter walks into surgery with an anal thermometer behind his ear.
A nuse says doc why do you have that anal thermometer behind your ear?
To which he replies
Shit some arsholes got my pen.

Another to add to the list

I knew that evil eyes smilie would come in handy for someone. Quite effective. Almost makes me want to stay off somebodys lawn and turn my 'damned' music down... I got the message!

Lol Tim - yeh he's a beauty

hope i didnt offend anyone if i did my apologies

hope i didnt offend anyone if i did my apologies

Nothing offensive in any of those bf - didn't need a double apology either

And i thought i was the only one around here that stutters