| Backyard Aquaponics http://byap.backyardmagazines.com/forum/ |
|
| The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) http://byap.backyardmagazines.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3553 |
Page 1 of 3 |
| Author: | janethesselberth [ May 30th, '08, 08:42 ] |
| Post subject: | The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
(Have some fun and continue the Story....) It was a bright warm day when Ellie received a smallish box at her front door. In delight, she found it was the tilapia she had ordered from Mars (one of the few places that would ship to her). Upon closer inspection, however, she noticed something not-quite-right. Suddenly........ |
|
| Author: | wdyasq [ May 30th, '08, 12:01 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
A large truck sped around the corner. A device looking like a pipe with tubes at right angles protruded from the top if the truck. It stopped at the next house and the tube on top rotated. Delighted the fish had arrived so quickly Ellie scooped the box up and carried it inside. She placed the box on the kitchen table and quickly grabbed a knife to open the package. There was a loud and sharp beating on the door..... it came again. She went to the door and opened it. Three men in what looked like moon-suits were on the porch. One was carrying a small box that was letting out a loud buzzing-ticking sound. The men pushed past Ellie and went toward the kitchen, looking for all purposes like a pack of dogs. The buzzing on the box raised in frequency as they got closer to the kitchen. Ellie reached for her cell phone to call the police. As she started to dial the emergency number, she looked up to see a fleet of police cars pull up to her house. Officers began running toward her but would stop about ten feet from the front door. They all seemed to be looking at her and talking on their radios. Confused, her mind returned to the package ....... |
|
| Author: | gokul [ May 30th, '08, 15:19 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
The police shot the burgers they were eating at the big truck and made dents everywhere. Martian gravel that looked like scoria started oozing out of the walls of the truck. The moony-men inside dropped that pipe-cross thing and ran out in shock. Ellie wondered how she could use that pipe-cross thing to make an autosiphon. The police handcuffed the men who ran towards their gravel but Ellie sent the police away and made the men wash the gravel and fill up her growbeds. She wondered what plants would grow with the Marian minerals and whether she needed any foliar sprays. She also wondered if there were already some Martian bacteria in the gravel to kick start the cycling. Meanwhile the tiny box which arrived due to her tilapia-ordering was thumping vigourously on the table inside and making nose-blowing and arm-pit noises... |
|
| Author: | janethesselberth [ May 30th, '08, 20:01 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
Finally, the top of the box burst open and tilapia flew out all over the kitchen. As they flapped their pectoral fins, their flight began to stablize in the thicker Earth air. Ellie's cat ran for cover. Fortunately, the next knock at the door was Joel. He dropped his pump and armload of PVC as a tilapia flew past his ear. Startled, he said.... |
|
| Author: | earthbound [ May 30th, '08, 20:04 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
What the hell was in the box.....?  Tentatively, she walked closer to the box and carefully began peeling back the tape that sealed it. Surely the commotion outside must be totally unrelated to herself and her delivery of tilapia fingerings. After all, they are only tilapia fingerlings. But so strange that they were making so much noise... As she peeled back the tape the box rumbled and kicked beneath her hands.. |
|
| Author: | gokul [ May 30th, '08, 20:06 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
This is not part of the story, its a comment: Maybe the 'Joel' was a Martian coming back in the disguise of a trusted human being. Or maybe he IS the real Joel. You can take the story anyway you want or otherwise... |
|
| Author: | steve [ May 30th, '08, 20:16 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
As she peeled back the tape the box rumbled and kicked beneath her hands...............she snapped out of her daydream, realising that box had already burst open and that joel was using his PVC as an improvised spear, laying to rest the evil martian tilapia.............but they were to much for him...........just as one was about to end him, Lord Axl thundered through the back door and smote the evil martian tilapia, explaining that the demon fish Pav had.............. |
|
| Author: | gokul [ May 30th, '08, 21:15 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
But in the massive commotion and amidst splattering green Martian tilapia blood no one noticed some of the glowing radioactive tilapia eggs plop into the fish tank. These were no ordinary tilapia... the fact that nose-blowing noises and arm-pit sounds were heard suggested that these tilapia had particularly big runny noses and tiny popeye arms under their fins. Not to mention the fact that they had superior mental abilities unlike an earthling tilapia, since they knew how to make sounds with their armpits. These tilapia eggs after hatching into fingerlings had the strange ability to lull passers by into a trance by turning their armpit sounds into music with a really good beat, and that too with all the tilapia in perfect synchronism. Will they tilapia take over the international AP team and hinder the progress of the human race...  This is a comment, not part of the story Excuse me Joel and other members here, I had started to type the previous (above) post before Joel's post but it was submitted after Joel posted... I didn't see it. 
|
|
| Author: | janethesselberth [ May 30th, '08, 23:48 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
"Onward to the radio station!!" squeaked the newly hatched martian tilapia fry They bowed in deference to their master, the demonfish Pav as they leaped out of the water. Joel continued spearing the last of the shipped fish. As the fry flew out the front door, they met up with.... (Gokul, there are no rules and no excuses here!!! Part of the fun is to try to fix the time-sequence problems in the next post.) |
|
| Author: | RupertofOZ [ May 30th, '08, 23:55 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
Herman.... the officious local translocation officer from the quarantine and fisheries department. "And just where the hell do you lot think you're going then..." .... he smirked, clicking his well worn biro and tapping his clipboard.... |
|
| Author: | Axl [ May 31st, '08, 12:43 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
.....As Herman's blood spattered clipboard hit the ground, followed closely by his headless corpse, the Evil Demon fish PAV and his martian minions began to drain every last drop from his still twitching body. Just then the phone rang................ |
|
| Author: | Food&Fish [ May 31st, '08, 13:12 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
And it was snorkle boy with his trusty paper clip |
|
| Author: | Brian Brian [ May 31st, '08, 14:03 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
"anybody order a fire? " he asked, the demon fishies looked up from their feeding, saw the skinny little weedy legs and thought, nah not enough meat on those bones, and returned to the feast of Herman. Janet then................ |
|
| Author: | gokul [ May 31st, '08, 14:26 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
...poured 1000ppm nitrate water from one of her older systems on the evil tilapia to slow down their growth and said... |
|
| Author: | RupertofOZ [ May 31st, '08, 15:06 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Day of the Tilapia - A Horror Story in 412 Parts ;) |
"let's see how you thin air suckers like a bit of good old earth water then...." Little did she know that the original Mars strain had evolved from water living Tilapia and in order to adapt to Martian global warming and the drying of water from the dusty planet had evolved a powerful adaptive tool.... The ability to merge themselves into a single giant Tilapia that could suck enough oxygen from even the smallest pool of water and survive..... The writhing, gasping Martian mass began melding together before her eyes until they had formed a single giant Tilapia that towered above her. Fixing her with a steely eye the giant Tilapia .... |
|
| Page 1 of 3 | All times are UTC + 8 hours |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group https://www.phpbb.com/ |
|