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Hi, my name's Dean, and I'm a Snapperhead.
I've been addicted to fishing for 20 years now. It's caused breakup's with friends and family for reasons ranging from trashing a non galvanised trailer I borrowed then jury rigged into a boat trailer, to melting down chimney fittings for sinkers. The wife was supportive in a way as though I'd bring no money in I'd bring food home. But when I converted her brand new fridge into a smoker, she left. I'm going to miss her poached salmon.
Scaling it down my problems trace back to when I was a sprat. Fresh out of my school, I cast off into life determined to fillet, to find my plaice, my sole. I floundered about, tossed in the tides of indecision. I had no porpoise.
And then that fateful day, my first catch. From the moment that fish took my line, I was hooked. I blew every squid I earned on fishing, each day, there I was, perched and jaded on the rocks. I began to grow paranoid. I thought other fishermen were trying to mussel in on my territory, I could see anenome on every rock. One day a tourist came too close as I was casting and my hook caught in his cheek. The tide was only running another 20 minutes so I quickly cut it out with my knife and finished the cast.
When Snapperheads read about me they visited me in jail. Here was hope. A group of men who had learned, through the support of each other, to control their fishing addictions.
If you've ever found yourself hiding pieces of your dinner in your pocket for bait, or contemplating your wedding ring as you sit on the rocks with no sinkers, or similar, Snapperheads Anonymous may be for you.
The 12 Steps of Snapperheads Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over Fish, and that our Wives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves (The Ministry Of Fisheries) could land us in deep water.
3. Made a decision to turn our fishing tackle and our lines over to the care of our wives, fishing only if and when we were allowed to.
4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of our sheds and car trunk, handing over the rest of the fishing gear too.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact size and nature of our last catch.
6. Were entirely ready to be laughed at by our mates.
7. Humbly asked our wives to explain our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all species we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends with gifts of mullet and squid, except when tides were too high to do so.
10. Continued to listen to our wives inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through beer and recreation to improve our conscious contact with Man, though we never understood him.
12. Having had a rude awakening as the result of our wives, tried to carry this message to other Snapperheads, and to practise these principles in all our affairs.
God, grant me the Serenity, to Accept the fish I cannot catch, Courage to throw the small ones back, and the Wisdom to know my Quota.
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