Backyard Aquaponics
A place to discuss aquaponics

No more for me, prostate gone

Seen a poor bugger having a rectal Ultrasound on RPA last night to check his things out.....

Ouch!

Yep had one of them too, very unpleasant. There was another guy that was meant to go in before I did, and when the nurse came out to get him he made an excuse that he needed to got to the toilet, so the nurse said to me , ok you will do. When I came out I put on a real show for him holding my rear end and limping into the toilet LOL, you should have seen the look in his eyes, pure fear.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAH u nasty man u!!!!

When I got mine checked the Doc said " this must mean we're engaged!" when I questioned his statement he followed with "well your ring is on my finger"

CONFUCIUS DIDN'T SAY



Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up womans' leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets
exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.


Man who farts in church sits in his own pew.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Finally CONFUCIUS SAY. . .

"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"

Confucius also didn't say:

Man going sideways through airport turnstyle is going to Bangkok.

It is good for Boy to meet Girl in Park. Better for Boy to park meat in Girl.

Man with tool in woman's mouth not necessarily dentist.

Man who laugh last not get joke.

A blind man wanders into a local store and starts violently swinging his dog around in a helicopter motion.
Distressed the store lady runs up to the man and said "Sir what are you doing"
The guy replies......"Just looking around"

Wife treats hubby by taking him to a lapdance club for his birthday. Doorman says, hi Jim hows tricks? Wife asks "how does he know you". Jim says "oh, er, I play footy with him"
Inside the barman says " the usual Jim". Jim says , "before you say anything, hes on the darts team at me local"
Next a lapdancer says "hi Jim , do you want the special again" Wife storms out dragging Jim with her and jumps in a taxi. Driver says "Blimey Jim, you have pulled an ugly one this time"

5 year old's first job

Here's a truly heart-warming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay cheque at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those a*sesholes at Bunnings ever deliver the f**kin' gyprock..."

Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

Aawwwww.... thats SO SWEET

One Sunday morning John attanded his local church and went into the confessional.
As he sat down the priest asked "what have you to repent", "Well" John said " I can't stop smoking, drinking, gambling and having rampant sex with the missus"
"Oh Dear" was the reply, "John, God doesn't like these things and I'm almost certain if you keep this up you will not get into heaven, now go home, obstain from your actions and say 100 Hail Mary's. Next week come see me again and we will see how you went".

John re-appears in the confessional the week after and the preist asks "How did you go John"
John thinks for awhile and replys "Well I managed to stop drinking, smoking and gambling".
"And the rampant sex" the priest asks...
"Well its like this" said John "The missus was wearing a short Mini skirt and leaning over the lounge chair, I could see those beautiful smooth legs all the way to the hilt and I couldn't help myself so bent her over and the rest is history.
The preist a little disgusted said "I thought I told you GOD didn't like that sort of thing"

"Thats funny" replied John " Neither do the folk at Harvey Normans"